Before I Forget

Congrats to Katie and Tom!

Tom, enjoy the placenta.

Katie, enjoy the...hmmm, can't think of anything here.

My 401(k) has investment options like "Aggressive", "Income", "Growth", etc. Why can't I just let it all ride on "This kid will NOT be normal"?

Update: If were as funny as Gawker, this would've been my punchline:

The press release is thin on details like, say, when exactly the child was born, but the poor thing weighed in at 7 pounds and 7 ounces and is reportedly named Suri, which means “doomed” in Hebrew and “utterly fucked” in Persian.